Not another marathon training blog. Promise.
Welcome! I ran my first marathon four months after my mother died from cancer. I have learned the most painful and beautiful truths since losing her. Thank you for letting me share them.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

The plunge

It was one of the first bitter cold mornings of the Fall. I opened the curtain to peak out over Lake Champlain, the pink sky, the purple silhouettes of the mountains; the rusted hues of autumn melting with biting, numbing winter winds. I could feel the chill coming through the glass. I looked over at my friend and former teammate, Meriel. We both shook our heads and smiled.

“Alright, let’s go.”

We donned several layers, topped off with our undergrad lacrosse sweatpants. Walking through the hotel doors and out into the cold we had to chuckle at what we were about to do. But no matter how painful the prospect was, we knew we would do it. We were hardy, resilient New Englanders, and given the larger picture that day, it was the smallest of challenges. We reached Erin’s house where she was waiting in her winter hat and holding a cup of coffee. Her dogs circled the kitchen in anticipation. It could have been any other day. Years after we had graduated college, after having many collective experiences together as teammates, here we were gathered once again. Whenever our group assembles, we fall back into similar rhythms. Talking shit, laughing, eating, drinking; “we insult because we love.” Although now we’ve grown slightly kinder in our old age, and sometimes allow the admiration, loyalty, and love for one another to sit more comfortably at the surface.

Erin and Meriel used two credit cards to scrape the windshield of the Prius as the sun finally rose.  We chatted and quietly laughed on our way to Indian Brook as the dogs whined and fogged up the back windows with their hot breath. The cold hit hard again as we forced ourselves out of the comfort of the car and onto the trail. The dogs weaved through the forest as we hiked the leaf-littered path. The German Shepherd nervously herded us, in the midst of so much uncertainty, allowing her natural instincts to guide her. 

The trail ended at a rock peninsula surrounded by the mist-covered lake. Only our voices disturbed the still air. Erin briefly laid out the game plan and we walked back towards the tree cover. The anticipation of the cold that awaited was paralyzing. I thought about Erin’s Mom and her one-for-the-record-books mid-December effort. I felt like a rookie by comparison. Just like getting out of bed in the morning, or lacing up your sneakers for a long winter run, sometimes you need to will yourself forward because your body is saying “nah, I’m good.”  Erin’s fleece, long sleeve, and pants already were hanging from a tree. Meriel and I stood across from her and tried to catch-up.  Wearing so many layers seemed like a great idea until they all had to come off.  

We crept to the water’s edge, shoes were removed, and then towels were dropped. The grey stone underfoot carried a small bit of warmth from the previous day – an admittedly desperate observation with the air temperature hovering at 30 degrees. Meriel, then Erin, bravely and awkwardly took shallow dives into the calm, clear water. Hearing their gasps and hollers made my entry a little bit harder but I quickly followed, emitting an uncontrolled gasp of my own as I hit the water. The dogs stood at the edge and looked at us like we were crazy as we treaded water, hooted, laughed. After our very brief swim, we headed to shore. I managed to pull myself out of the water even with all my limbs pulsing.  I didn’t feel the predicted urge to reach for my towel because my body was on fire.  Everything around me slowed and sharpened. Every falling leaf, every barefoot step, the rough bark of the tree, the shuffling of the dogs; never had I felt so aware of the flow of blood and breath through my body. It was easily one of the more lucid moments of my life. 

The cold had stoked a fire in my veins that stayed with me the entire day. It was there a few hours later as we sat in the chapel at St. Michael’s College listening to the service honoring Erin’s adventurous, accomplished, and much-adored mother. It strengthened as I stood in the cemetery overlooking Lake Champlain. It stayed with me as we raised continuous pints of Guinness at the bar in her memory for the rest of the afternoon. And I felt a remnant of it as I hit the pavement two weeks ago for my first long outdoor run in almost a year and a half. Snow blew horizontally across the Charles River as my sneakers sank into mud and slush and I couldn’t help but smile thinking about how, despite the snow, it wasn’t nearly as cold as I had felt on that day.

As funny as it sounds, the skinny dip gave me back something I had lost amongst the injuries and the associated struggles. The forgotten strength of my heart and lungs. The forgotten power of pulling every corner of your mind into one moment.  And the forgotten facets of our lost mothers that we don’t realize we carry with us always. In our laughter, our eyes, our intonations; in ways we may not even see. As Erin plunged into the water that day she paid tribute to her mother in the truest way possible.  To me that day marked the first few steps down a trail that Erin was used to sharing with her Mom.  I was honored to accompany her. And I hope she knows that she was with me two weeks ago as a resurgence of breath and a revival of stride plunged me back into the cold, snowy streets of Boston and returned me home 16 miles later, fire in my veins.

So here we go. I’ve started running again, hopefully without breaking my foot again. And I’m going to try to run the 117th Boston Marathon in six short weeks. Most importantly, I’ll be running to honor Erin’s mother, Maura, my mother, and too many other parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers who have been lost over the last few years to cancer. Please join me in doing what little we can. http://www.runDFMC.org/2013/martinam

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